rexuality:

I need to have as much wild sex as possible so one day I can become an inappropriate old lady that blurts out things like “when I was your age I got a concussion after being bent over a desk” and then my family can be like “grandma please, you’re making easter dinner really uncomfortable” and it’ll be great

(via carry-on-my-wayward-butt)


spilledredwine:

Am I suddenly pregnant?


quadguyin-china:

salt-in-my-hair-and-heart:

liteskint:

gigaguess:

Oh.
My.
God.

B Y E

Am I allowed to tell this joke at parties??

She is so satisfied with that joke.

quadguyin-china:

salt-in-my-hair-and-heart:

liteskint:

gigaguess:

Oh.

My.

God.

B Y E

Am I allowed to tell this joke at parties??

She is so satisfied with that joke.

(via toots-toots)


red-lipstick:

Marta Klonowska (b. 1964, Warsaw, Poland) - Animal sculptures made from shattered glass pieces. Represented by: Lorch + Seide Gallery.

(via dapperdannykrutko)


agirlnamedagnes:

This is what my husband and I purchased at the grocery store the other day.

We don’t have kids.

We are adults. We pay bills.
And drink water from a whale.

I approve of your lifestyle.

(via nickmaniwa)



pervgurt:

If ur pets dont like him he aint da one

This is important. The boyfriend knew that I was awesome, but it wasn’t until his dog started freaking out when I left that he took me seriously.
"My dog loves her? Maybe I should too." sort of mentality

(via shessomethingsarcastic)


thedirtyoldgentleman:

cthulhuvsdeathstar:

blacksupervillain:

queerfucker:

vicoactus:

pokemon-personalities:

an aesthetic that will never go out of style: making others feel loved, needed, and important 

nicewave

kindcore

benevolentpunk 

Softedge

Hugstep


bunny-banana:

handaxe:

handaxe:

What’s the difference between america and yogurt?

If u leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop a culture

this was like the sickest burn I’ve ever seen

(via mischiefmackson)


Lying about your dreams is like holding your brain hostage is telling it “What are you going to do? Who you gonna tell? I CONTROL you.”